Remember that All Caregivers Get Angry

Every caregiver for a person with Alzheimer’s diseases has times when he feels angry. Our emotions on a particular day as a caregiver can range from happy to sad, and from pleasant to angry. You might feel angry because on top of the difficulty of being a caregiver, you have bills that need to be paid, the car needs repair or many other things. Perhaps it’s the combination of all of life’s stresses, on top of caregiving, that is upsetting you.

When a caregiver gets into one of these moods, it’s easy to get angry at the situation that the Alzheimer’s has caused: You might be angry that:

The person you love is so helpless and dependent
She watches TV half the night and sleeps all day
She goes to bed without turning off the lights and tv
It is a constant battle to get her to bathe once or twice per week
She drinks too much alcohol which makes her memory problems worse
She cannot remember what you told her 20 minutes ago
She loses everything – from remote controls to the car keys
She forgets to flush the toilet
She takes 90 minutes to get out of bed each morning
Researchers cannot find a cure for this terrible disease

The list of things to get angry about as a caregiver can go on and on, and become all encompassing. And then, it’s easy to get angry for getting short tempered and short on patience.

When you get angry like this about the disease, it’s always a good idea to remember the wise words from On Golden Pond, when Katherine Hepburn’s character said, ‘he’s doing the very best he can.’ These words are from a movie, but they actually are very wise. Your loved one is doing the best he or she can with a very tough illness, and no matter how frustrating it can be, your loved one doesn’t deserve your anger. And it doesn’t do any good.

It’s worth remembering that people with dementia are never doing things on purpose to make our lives harder. Until they are in the late dementia stages, they will regret the things they do that upset you.

When you are getting into a negative mood, try to remember the things that your loved one still can do. Your loved one still may be able to do some level of house cleaning or cooking, or going to get the mail, or taking the dog out.

Anytime you are getting angry, try to remember the good things she can still do. And of course, never feel guilty for getting angry. You too are just doing the very best you can in a tough situation, so give yourself a break.

Bathing Aids for Alzheimer’s Patients

One way to reduce the stresses and tensions of caregiving is to use some of our helpful Alzheimer’s bathing aids products. For example, to make the bathing process go more smoothly, try out No-Rinse Bathing Wipes: